Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Library Pariah

Library Pariah. The motto of this clever blog is, "Is it a parody, or is it real? You decide." It is clearly parody but it is good paradoy that it is clearly written by academic librarians who are basing these posts on real life experience. Think of this blog as The Onion of academic librarianship.

Here are a few recent posts with excerpts:

University Appeases the Hell out of Donor - "As part of a deal to name the library at Bayside University and secure a substantial endowment that will offset recent budget cuts, president Caroline Ellings has agreed to install a massive Chutes and Ladders-style slide extending from the roof of the building to the campus quad five stories below, according to a recent campus press release. 'The donor is a distant heir to the Bradley side of the famous Milton Bradley gaming empire, so we thought this would be a fitting, albeit unconventional acknowledgement of her generosity,' Ellings told LP."

Classroom Cleavage Hospitalizes Instruction Librarian - "As he laid eyes on his students for the first time, however, the frigid classroom was the only thing that kept the thirty-one year old librarian from spontaneously combusting, as Bacon was blinded by a sea of taut, tanned undergraduate bodies amply exposed to view. "

Library NOT Heart of University, Survey Shows - "“The library is really more like the gall bladder of the university—nice to have, but not vital to its well-being.”

Librarian's Padded Tenure File Escapes Notice - “I didn’t take this job because I wanted to process an inconsequential goddamn manuscript collection at some Mickey Mouse university,” St. Thomas revealed. “I came here for one reason only: a solid paycheck—augmented by a juicy 15% promotion that came with tenure—and an unfathomably great benefits package for this dump, so two reasons, really.”

And my favorite, Librarians Get Research Credit for Filling Staplers - "One of our librarians, for instance, has published a series of groundbreaking articles in top-ranked library journals assessing patron reaction to manual versus electric staplers. Thus the act of filling staplers is intimately connected to his research and should be acknowledged as such."

To the gifted authors of Library Paraiah, please keep it coming.

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